Cant buy me love......
I pondered very long before writing this post. This happens when your friends have access to your blog. Freedom of the pen becomes somewhat constricted.
A friend I know is dating a girl who is not a Singapore citizen. By all appearances, the girl seems keen on applying for a Singapore PR-ship. Needless to say, I wondered if she was more interested in my friend, or the PR. Anyway, another friend was tasked to find out more on the necessary paperwork to get the PR.
At a get-together dinner not too long ago, where they were fashionably 1 hour and 30 mins late, the topic of PR-ship cropped up. I told her that as long as she earns a salary of $2,500, she was eligible. Friend told her that her best bet was to register with our friend, and then apply.
When they left, I asked friend why insist on her registering with our friend. Friend said that if she had heeded my advice and applied, chances were that her application would be turned down because she was not working here, and she lacked suitable qualifications. This would make it harder for her subsequent applications. It was also a hint to her that if she wants the PR-ship so badly, she would have to commit to our friend.
I laughed and told friend that I dropped her a bait. If she rose to it, it proves almost beyond reasonable doubt that she was more interested in the PR than our friend. If so, I cannot be bothered whether her application succeeds or not. In any case, it will not be my bait that would result in her failed bid but her own keeness for the PR-ship. To paraphrase my friendly hph seller when he presented me with the hph contract to sign, 'if you dont break the contract, there is nothing in there that can harm you; if you do, there is nothing in there that can help you.' Similarly, if she was keen on my friend, there was nothing that I said that could harm her, but if she was keen on the PR, there is nothing in what I said that could help her.
While I cannot be bothered to contemplate whether she deserves it or not, I would not wish a friend of mine to settle down with a girl more interested in the citizenship he can bring her than for who he is.
Friend glared at me and refused to speak.
'Shrugs'
The citizenship of my country is not for, to quote a colloquial Chinese term, any pig, dog or cat. Neither is her PR-ship. If you really want it, first prove your own worth.
I would like to hear your views, even if it contradicts with mine.
posted by As Time Goes By at 11:38 PM
6 Comments:
Unless your friend is in the civil service, else it will be difficult to get the PR approved in a short time. The average time is 2 years and 3 attempts.
Her patience may have run off by then.
I agree that her intentions are questionable. I would have done the same for my friend because I find her motives dubious. If she can prove otherwise - then good for her. Not surprising how some women like to manipulate men into doing what they want - and men simply fall for it all tne time.
I will not want see my friend to be hitched to women who come with questionable motives...
Whether my friend likes to hear it or not, I will present him the facts.
I will not want him to get cheated. No matter how poor she is in her hometown, I cannot accept her action of cheating a guy of his feelings for PR-ship.
Or for anything less than a sincere and genuine relationship/marriage.
your bait tactic was questionable cos as Ghost pointed out - it will take time and attempts. each failed attempt can be attributed to too many factors. she could be too young, too unqualified, too skilled in the wrong industries etc...in the end she might try for PR-ship by registering as your other fren suggested.
if she succeeded in her attempt to apply with 2.5k/month, she could still hang out with your male fren(MF) for other 'benefits' e.g. social network, good company, roof over head. and you wouldn't be able to prove anything. =(
so both ways, your MF may not be free of her influence if she turns out negative. But, and this is a big but, she could genuinely be interested in a deeper relationship with your MF. don't begrudge that. =)
my alecky suggestion would be to tell her that it is more 'transparent' to MF if she applied on her own; he would be more assured of her affections as she 'thought' of him in the process. BUT chances are lower. then drop in the 'idea' that chances are higher if she went to register with MF. so if she really desperately wants that PR-ship... and you can all sit back and see which she opts to use as back-up.
btw, men 'fall' for the 'pleasing women' scenario sometimes simply because men are trapped by societal norms into looking after womenfolk. men no have liberation movement yet. damnit. =)
I do not know what is that gal like cos I have not seen her. But I guess you should have your reasons for having reasonable doubts about her intended and actual motive. But either way, guess your male friend is already deriving pleasures out of the r/s. If he really were to get cheated, blame it on himself for falling into the trap. If the gal is genuine, then good for him =) As long as both are consenting adults and your male friend is happy with the current situation, guess nobody has the right to complain about anything.
People who are in love live in a world of their own. Whatever others say usually falls on deaf ears, not to mention your fren seems to be in the honeymoon period as well.
We cannot deny the influx of such "MIC" products into our country where I believe Hong Kong citizens faces a greater quantity.
I have 2 male relatives, both of whom married non-Singaporeans. To date, they are still with their other halves after obtaining their PR status.
I agree with you that you should help your fren make an informed decision despite running the risk of losing his friendship. The ultimate decision still lies in him, but at least your case is heard. I concur with duck that a willing victim himself makes his choice and face the consequences on his own.
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